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Maybe it's the snow, maybe it's the cold, maybe it's the concert that we spent 6 months planning getting cancelled....I'm not sure what it is exactly, but i know that I am sitting here thinking about moments in life. I'm thinking about anticipation and expectation of moments.
I remember the last Christmas I had with my mom. The expectation was huge. Although there was a considerable amount of denial going on, I think we all knew that this was it. We had visions of these amazing moments and memories that we would create. We imagined singing around the piano as we had every Christmas. We anticipated that it would be filled with all sorts of moments that were not to be. We anticipated that we would celebrate Mom's birthday with the only tradition our family actually has of eating tuna boats (don't ask) on Jan 1st. That Christmas, we all got the flu. Well almost everyone. So instead of dinners around the table it was lining up for the bathroom. It was distressing to say the least and there was nothing we could do. Moments we had hoped for....lost. She died 6 weeks later.
It is cliche' to say that this moment is all we have, but it is so true. The moments we prepare for something have to be just as important as the moment we are to perform, because we may never get to perform. The moments we are given to love must be loved with all that we have because there may not be another chance to love. We anticipate that the next moment will be better than the one we are in. And then we find that it never comes. Life is so short.
And I suppose this could be considered a depressing post, but perhaps loving yourself in the moment, loving others in the moment, not taking any moment for granted would make a difference in life. And perhaps we would begin to see that they are only moments, and the moments pass and new ones come.
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6 comments:
nice thoughts. where did you get the picture?
don
I'm taking the "moment" to say...I miss you and I hope you are doing well. I miss the days I could just drive over to your house in 30minutes, listen to you play piano, eat your yummy sourcream enchiladas, and chat with you about anything and everything.
You are so right about making moments matter. I've been thinking about one of my friends from high school. His wife has been battling cancer for the last 23 months. The word on Thursday was that they were about to say good-bye to her any day. She is young, mother of 3 with the oldest only in kindergarten. Will her kids even remember her? News on Saturday, is she is doing much, much better, but I don't have an update as of today. I'm not sure if God healed her, or just gave her family just a few more
"moments." But my heart is heavy for them and makes me think about the momments that matter, too.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's coming on 10 years, right? I'm sure you miss your mom dearly. Treasure those memories!
Cheryl
I think we really do have a lot in common Miss Jill. I celebrated my last Christmas with my Mom 13 years ago. It's still hard to celebrate Christmas without her. She WAS Christmas to me. I've thought about her a lot in the past couple of weeks in anticipation of our concert. She loved to hear me sing. (In fact, for about the last week of her life, I would sit by her bed each day, read the Bible to her and then just sing hymns to her while holding her hand.)
I said the brave things to you yesterday, but the truth of the matter is that it hit me too around 4:00 and I had a good cry. I meant what I said though; that if nothing else, I'm really thankful just for being in choir and for knowing you.
And about the "moment" theme, I actually started writing a book a few years ago with that exact concept in mind. It's called, "Moments: the Stuff Life's Made Of". Each chapter is titled by a kind of moment...Embarrassing Moments, Funny Moments,Defining Moments, etc. Hmmm, great minds think alike I guess...
One of my favorite moments in the last few months was when God led an amazing woman to randomly introduce herself to me at church...it was an impacting moment...
Thanks for the reminder to love in the moment. I am going home to be with my mom for 3 weeks leaving Wed. She is not doing so well and I am wondering if this is the last Christmas that I'll have with her.
So I will remember to make the time as generous as I can to build memories.
Merry Christmas Friend.
great post Jill!
I think it is sad that there are people who don't miss their parents after they're gone. The more you miss a tradition (even tuna boats) the more valuable it was to you then, and the memory holds greater value as well. Your greatest memories are not those of that painful last Christmas. You already know that the bigger place in your heart is filled with the wonderful memories of all the years you had with your mom. I'm sorry she left too soon.
Your post is not depressing. It is real and true. Reality is what we have, and we know that it is the truth that sets us free. You are freer than most.
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